Hey, so this is my first solo post for this blog and I thought I would discuss something that has always confused me about human sexuality. Okay, so maybe confused isn't the right word, but it's the best one I have at the moment. See I know what causes the issue most the time, what I am confused about is why it is a thing, and how to make it not be a thing. The thing that gets to me is just how many people there are in this world that are scared of liking sex. It's not that they are scared of sex, they enjoy sex, but they are scared by how much they like it. That make sense?
Now, like I said, I know the primary reason there are so many people in the world who are scared of liking sex, and that's religion. Religion (specifically Abrahamic religions) teach us that anything outside of a man and woman, who are married, having sexual intercourse, mostly for means of procreation, is wrong and sinful. What makes it sinful, well, that depends on what verse you are reading from what religous text, and what indivudal church leaders personally beleive, but mostly it boils down to anything outside of their strict guidlines requires you to have lust in your eyes and your hearts. Lust creates impure thoughts and actions, and therefore must be avoided at all times. Even masturbation is a sin because in order to masturbate you must do two things. First, you need some sort of sexual thought in order to acheive arousal, and normally that involves impure thoughts about someone you are not married to, so therefore you are sinning against them, their spouse, your spouse, and the church. Second, by masturbating you are not only giving into those temptations, but if you are a male, you are wasting sperm that could be a future life to be born and praise God. A lot of conservative christians view masturbation the same as abortion and murder, you are taking away a life to explore your own lustful sinful thoughts. Now, on the female end of the second part, you risk awakening desires inside yourself that will lead you to either turn away from men and God, or will cause you to lead others astray in your exploration of your sexuality.
Since the world is mostly run by conservative christians and religous people, we are all raised from a young age to be ashamed of our bodies, our urges, our desires, our basic human sexual needs. Sex on TV and Movies is made to appear to be something amazing and magical and only to be done if you are truely in love with someone, or a whore who doesn't care. There is very little room for anything in between in their world view. We go so far as to regulate what women wear at school and jobs and even in public, to avoid them triggering sexual urges in men that might lead them astray. We set more rules and regulations on businesses that specialize in human sexuality than any other kind of business on the planet. The internet is overflowing with porn because we want to see what we've been missing out on, but it is filled with so much unrealistic porn, that now we have generations of people being raised to think that they need to push everything to the extreme to really enjoy sex. We publicly bully and humiliate anyone who we find out likes sex, especially if they are women and enjoy finding new partners. We criminalize sex for money, with the only exception being pornography as it is deemed art/entertainment. We teach abstinence only sexual education in schools and then can't understand why people are having children when they are young, or spreading STD's without knowing it, even though we only used scare tatics to teach them instead of real information.
We live in a world where being sexually adventurous/curious can get you killed, especially if the sex you want is outside of the heteronormative narrative that they try to push on everyone. You're a male who wants to have sex with another male? Better keep it secret lest your family disown you and the world around you citisize you. You're a woman who like men and women? Well you better marry a man and just look at women from afar, or you will either be austrisized for your desires, or seen as an object for personal pleasure and pushed into MFF threesomes by every male you date. You're a couple who enjoys swinging and having sex with others? Well you better not let the PTA or CPS or your job find out, because that could lose you everything, including your children. We put limitations and punishments on those who enjoy sex outside of what is seem as "moral".
What is sexual morality any way, and who gets to decide where the lines are drawn? More over, why do others get to decide where anyone elses lines are drawn when it comes to their sexuality? Don't get me wrong, I think we can all agree that any kind of sexuality that involves someone who can't give proper consent is wrong. Be it pedophilia, zoophilia, necrophilia, rape, molestation, or anything along those lines. If they can't not give proper informed consent, it's wrong, period. CONSENT IS KEY, CONSENT IS EVERYTHING, anything outside of consent is immoral. Now, with that in mind, if consent is really the only key to sexual morality, then why are we all still living in this world as though religion is the key to all things moral? Who put them in charge? Well, they did, by force over the centuries. Everything we know about sexual morality can all be linked back to religions. Want to know something crazy about that though? Many of these religions and/or variations of the same religions, have parts in their teachings that actually go against that idea that Consent Is Key, Consent Is Everything. A man forcing his wife to have sex with him in the confines of their marraige isn't seen as rape. Marrying a younger woman is seen throughout history and in many current cultures and religions as okay, long as the marriage is preformed by the church. The catholic church has had soooo many issues with molestation of young boys by priests, and not more than a handful of priests in the world have seen any prison time for their crimes. So why do we still consider these groups to be the final say so when it comes to sexual morality?
It's because we are brainwashed from childhood to beleive that if we don't follow along, that if we enjoy sex in any way outside of what they say is okay, that we will spend an eternity in hell for it. We are kept in line and kept to their morals by a fear of what will happen to us AFTER we die. We are kept in line with horror stories of people dying from STD's. We are kept in line by horror stories or sexual immorality leading to us being addicted to drugs and ending up homeless on the street selling our sole for more sex and drugs. We are kept in line with more and more brainwashing throughout our entire lives, and it's complete bullshit. We need to learn to enjoy sex, to pursue our kinks and fetishes, to explore our sexuality and actually try things to find out what we do and don't like. We need to get out of this brainwashed gaslit state that we live our lives in and go out and have some fun.
Maybe if we all band together, and push for better sex ed in schools, and more realistic pornography and depictions of sex in tv and movies, and stop shaming people for sex work, and stop forcing women to cover themselves to stop tempting men and teach men all about actual real consent, then maybe we can live in a world where we can be free to be secure in our sexuality and our enjoyment of it. Maybe then we can put more time and money into better forms of birth control and std protection. We can put more time and effort into punishing those who step outside the bounds of consent. And maybe all those conservative christians and religous people, who keep getting caught in restrooms and hotels with people of the same sex, or sex workers, or what have you, can be free to explore their sexuality instead of hating themselves for it.
But hey, maybe that's just me dreaming a little too big.
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