The porn industry is ruining sex for humanity

 Yeah, you read the title right. I beleive that the "mainstream" porn industry is ruining sex for all of humanity and it makes me sad. 

Now, few things to start:

1) I am still a fan of porn, there is lots of really great porn out there, profesional and amatuer.

2) I am by NO means saying that they need to stop making porn.

3) Promise I do have good reasons for saying this.

So, why do I think that porn is ruining sex? It's because of just how readily available porn is to the entire world, and how I'd say about 80% of the professional porn made is completely ubsurd and sets horrible expectations.

You know what the number one type of porn right now is? Stepbro.... yep, you knew it was soon as I said it. That's the number one type of porn out there and it's seeping out of the porn sites and into all forms of social media. The pandemic had everyone so absolutly couped up and celebate, that people starting looking at step family wondering if maybe they could get lucky with them. So they started looking up porn that's just one step away from incest, step family porn. It's been around for a while, but it wasn't till the pandemic that it really got out of hand. Now you can find it both with professional adult stars, amatuer stars, chaterbate pages, Tiktok accounts, and all kinds of memes. Now you got these young teens and tweens, with parents who give them unfiltered access to the internet, finding these memes and thinking that one day they are going to come home and get railed by their hot step sibling or parent, or maybe both.

Then you have rape based porn, which when shown without any conversation about consent and safe words, just pushes these bullshit alpha male types and incels into thinking that most women love it when you force them into fucking you. There's not discussion in the videos of what consent is, and how the video is all made up and the stars gave full consent to be there (most the time) and have safe words in place (most the time) and so on. So they get it in their head that women love to be choke slammed and forced to do things, and that when they keep saying no, if their pussy is wet, then they really mean yes. It's absolutly toxic bullshit that needs to be handled WAY differently.

Or how about these College Dorm porn videos of all these college kids having giant orgies at every party, and where everyone at the party is super hot and just ready to get ALL the fucking they can get? They don't tell you that pretty much all these videos are staged. That usually the people fucking on screen are already porn stars and the people watching are the actual college students who were let in to watch but told not to touch. 

Or let's go to bangbus, and BangTaxi, and all that, where they are told that they are picking up random people, paying them to fuck on camera, and then just dropping them off some where random and abandoning them. All of it is fake, all of it is made up, all of it is bullshit.

Don't even get me started on how they only show men with giant cocks, and women who are ready to get fucked in every hole at the drop of a dime with no lube or much foreplay.

The point I am trying to make is that the porn industry is taking all this porn they make, and just assuming that everyone who watches it knows that it's all fake and made up. They live by that assumption and base everything they do on that assumption.

Now, do I know a good way to fix this without laws getting made restricting porn more and more? No. Honestly I don't, and I don't want the government involved in anything to do with sex. The fact the paying for sex is prostitution, unless you film and it and post it to make money, then it's capitalism, is just wrong. It's based on Theocratic laws, and in my personal opinion, any law based on someones religion should be stricken from the books.

I just really think the porn industry as a whole needs to stand up and take responsibility for itself. Actually post as many videos explaining the dangers of some of the sex they are showing, and how much consent is important, and how the people you are seeing in these videos aren't your average size/shape.

Yeah, that's my rant for today. What do you think? Am I right, am I wrong, is there a good answer? Let me know in the comment section.

So what if Rihanna sniffed her fingers?

 So one of the biggest talking points on all the radio and tv talk/morning shows today has been about one single moment in the Superbowl Halftime Show last night where Rihanna "appeared to touch her butt and crotch and then sniff or lick her fingers." Every station I turned to was talking about it and how it was either too risque or too sexual or blown out or proportion or....... Yet not one show could come to a concensus on what it actually was. My questions though are these:

What does it matter? Why is this a talking point? What did you expect from a singer known for being comfortable with her sexuality and sex in general? What did you expect from the creator of Fenty? What did you expect from a preformer who's know for having insanely popular songs all based around sex? You are really that upset that Rihanna did something so blatently sexual on national television? Have you ever seen her music videos? Have you read the lyrics to her songs? Did you think she was going to tone herself down for you for the Superbowl?

It all comes down to the fact that she is a she, and she is being sexual on television. Maroon Five comes out to preform at a game and Adam has no shirt on, but that's okay. Justin Timberlake flashes Janet Jacksons boob to the world and Janet gets in trouble not Justin. Almost all major Superbowl Halftime controversies happen when women are preforming. So what does that tell you? It tells you that people are perfectly fine with men expressing their sexuality, but somehow can't comprehend that a woman has just as much right to as well. That it's okay for women to not only enjoy sex, but are allowed to actively seek it just as much as men. 

It's like people beleive that having something inserted in you makes you a horrible person, but inserting a part of you into someone else is perfectly fine and acceptable. It goes along with the same thought process that somehow a woman having sex with multiple partners loosens her vagina but yet having sex with the same partner repeatedly doesn't. That a woman who enjoys sex is a dirty slut or whore, but a man who enjoys sex is just following his natural instincts. Really points out how men have been incredibly selfish and controlling when it comes to women, and yet have no desire to follow the same rules they set for others.

So, did Rihanna touch herself in a sexual manner and then sniff/lick her fingers? Yes. Is it that big of a deal? No. Do we get way to hung up on trying to force women to be uber conservative prudes? Yes. Should we let women enjoy sex as much as men do? Yes.

Why are people so scared of liking sex?

 Hey, so this is my first solo post for this blog and I thought I would discuss something that has always confused me about human sexuality. Okay, so maybe confused isn't the right word, but it's the best one I have at the moment. See I know what causes the issue most the time, what I am confused about is why it is a thing, and how to make it not be a thing. The thing that gets to me is just how many people there are in this world that are scared of liking sex. It's not that they are scared of sex, they enjoy sex, but they are scared by how much they like it. That make sense?

Now, like I said, I know the primary reason there are so many people in the world who are scared of liking sex, and that's religion. Religion (specifically Abrahamic religions) teach us that anything outside of a man and woman, who are married, having sexual intercourse, mostly for means of procreation, is wrong and sinful. What makes it sinful, well, that depends on what verse you are reading from what religous text, and what indivudal church leaders personally beleive, but mostly it boils down to anything outside of their strict guidlines requires you to have lust in your eyes and your hearts. Lust creates impure thoughts and actions, and therefore must be avoided at all times. Even masturbation is a sin because in order to masturbate you must do two things. First, you need some sort of sexual thought in order to acheive arousal, and normally that involves impure thoughts about someone you are not married to, so therefore you are sinning against them, their spouse, your spouse, and the church. Second, by masturbating you are not only giving into those temptations, but if you are a male, you are wasting sperm that could be a future life to be born and praise God. A lot of conservative christians view masturbation the same as abortion and murder, you are taking away a life to explore your own lustful sinful thoughts. Now, on the female end of the second part, you risk awakening desires inside yourself that will lead you to either turn away from men and God, or will cause you to lead others astray in your exploration of your sexuality.

Since the world is mostly run by conservative christians and religous people, we are all raised from a young age to be ashamed of our bodies, our urges, our desires, our basic human sexual needs. Sex on TV and Movies is made to appear to be something amazing and magical and only to be done if you are truely in love with someone, or a whore who doesn't care. There is very little room for anything in between in their world view. We go so far as to regulate what women wear at school and jobs and even in public, to avoid them triggering sexual urges in men that might lead them astray. We set more rules and regulations on businesses that specialize in human sexuality than any other kind of business on the planet. The internet is overflowing with porn because we want to see what we've been missing out on, but it is filled with so much unrealistic porn, that now we have generations of people being raised to think that they need to push everything to the extreme to really enjoy sex. We publicly bully and humiliate anyone who we find out likes sex, especially if they are women and enjoy finding new partners. We criminalize sex for money, with the only exception being pornography as it is deemed art/entertainment. We teach abstinence only sexual education in schools and then can't understand why people are having children when they are young, or spreading STD's without knowing it, even though we only used scare tatics to teach them instead of real information.

We live in a world where being sexually adventurous/curious can get you killed, especially if the sex you want is outside of the heteronormative narrative that they try to push on everyone. You're a male who wants to have sex with another male? Better keep it secret lest your family disown you and the world around you citisize you. You're a woman who like men and women? Well you better marry a man and just look at women from afar, or you will either be austrisized for your desires, or seen as an object for personal pleasure and pushed into MFF threesomes by every male you date. You're a couple who enjoys swinging and having sex with others? Well you better not let the PTA or CPS or your job find out, because that could lose you everything, including your children. We put limitations and punishments on those who enjoy sex outside of what is seem as "moral".

What is sexual morality any way, and who gets to decide where the lines are drawn? More over, why do others get to decide where anyone elses lines are drawn when it comes to their sexuality? Don't get me wrong, I think we can all agree that any kind of sexuality that involves someone who can't give proper consent is wrong. Be it pedophilia, zoophilia, necrophilia, rape, molestation, or anything along those lines. If they can't not give proper informed consent, it's wrong, period. CONSENT IS KEY, CONSENT IS EVERYTHING, anything outside of consent is immoral. Now, with that in mind, if consent is really the only key to sexual morality, then why are we all still living in this world as though religion is the key to all things moral? Who put them in charge? Well, they did, by force over the centuries. Everything we know about sexual morality can all be linked back to religions. Want to know something crazy about that though? Many of these religions and/or variations of the same religions, have parts in their teachings that actually go against that idea that Consent Is Key, Consent Is Everything. A man forcing his wife to have sex with him in the confines of their marraige isn't seen as rape. Marrying a younger woman is seen throughout history and in many current cultures and religions as okay, long as the marriage is preformed by the church. The catholic church has had soooo many issues with molestation of young boys by priests, and not more than a handful of priests in the world have seen any prison time for their crimes. So why do we still consider these groups to be the final say so when it comes to sexual morality?

It's because we are brainwashed from childhood to beleive that if we don't follow along, that if we enjoy sex in any way outside of what they say is okay, that we will spend an eternity in hell for it. We are kept in line and kept to their morals by a fear of what will happen to us AFTER we die. We are kept in line with horror stories of people dying from STD's. We are kept in line by horror stories or sexual immorality leading to us being addicted to drugs and ending up homeless on the street selling our sole for more sex and drugs. We are kept in line with more and more brainwashing throughout our entire lives, and it's complete bullshit. We need to learn to enjoy sex, to pursue our kinks and fetishes, to explore our sexuality and actually try things to find out what we do and don't like. We need to get out of this brainwashed gaslit state that we live our lives in and go out and have some fun.

Maybe if we all band together, and push for better sex ed in schools, and more realistic pornography and depictions of sex in tv and movies, and stop shaming people for sex work, and stop forcing women to cover themselves to stop tempting men and teach men all about actual real consent, then maybe we can live in a world where we can be free to be secure in our sexuality and our enjoyment of it. Maybe then we can put more time and money into better forms of birth control and std protection. We can put more time and effort into punishing those who step outside the bounds of consent. And maybe all those conservative christians and religous people, who keep getting caught in restrooms and hotels with people of the same sex, or sex workers, or what have you, can be free to explore their sexuality instead of hating themselves for it.

But hey, maybe that's just me dreaming a little too big.

FRIENDS with benefits

Here is a write up on what we feel is the best way to go about friends with benefits.

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So, for me, everything is friendship. Everything must start at a basic friendship level before it can go anywhere else, and it always goes back to friendship level after it goes anywhere else.

Now (for discussion sake) lets say one day you decide you are horny and in need and contact me. Then on that day our friendship includes benefits. Be it pics and videos, sexting, make out, foreplay, or full on sex. You draw the line and I don't cross it. When that is done/needs are met, then we go right back to friendship level. If any of that becomes a regular thing, then cool. If not, then we are still friends.

If you need someone to accompany you to an event as your date, then for that day/event we step it up to date level. Then when it is done, we go right back to friends.

If you want to go on dates and spend a whole day together, holding hands and chatting and everything, amazing, when it's done, we go right back to friends.

Doesn't mean it can't ever go above friends and stay above friends, but that would require a completely separate conversation and agreements of expectations. Be it moving up to dates often, or sexting often, or full on relationship.

But until then, and regardless of what may happen on any given day, we are friends first and foremost.

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What do you think???